scifi schlemiel ... MOI?!
From the title of this piece, one might conjecture that this piece is a bit "off the wall", so to say. Ah, yes, my little chick-a-dees, if that's what you crave, you shan't be disappointed. First off, I should like to deny ever encountering Elvis in an unidentified flying object. From what I can tell, the man was chary with regard to flight, after the death of The Big Bopper, Ritchie Valens and Buddy Holly in a plane crash. By the way, I suspect Elvis might've been fascinated with the movie THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL. I saw that movie, when I was barely a tadpole.
I remember one scene, where Michael Rennie who portrays the alien J Carpenter is noodling with a hodgepodge of mathematical notation on a blackboard. Anyway, Mr Carpenter impresses a professor, who looks a bit like Einstein, with the noodling. The professor is impressed, and the audience is gripped with awe. I know I was.
Okay, I went through all that to set up the premise for why I'm now ruining my classified ad in PIPE DREAM, the student newspaper published twice weekly for Binghamton University, during regular semesters. Just so happens, I came upon a piece of speculation that's way too juicy to pass up. Oh, yeah, I'd affirm that I came upon this speculation in one of the most unholy websites I ever had the misfortune to come upon.
In truth, I'm too embarrassed to divulge its U R L. No way in hell do I want people to know that I voluntarily lingered in such a heinous website. How bad is it? Well, let's put it this way, I've scheduled a couple extra appointments with my therapist. No, I refuse to give any hint of that website's location. But as I said, this speculation is way too juicy to pass up..
According to our news media, North Korea's commie regime is agreeing to scuttle their nuclear weapons program. On the drive to this computer terminal, I was listening to radio's Stephanie Miller, who was mocking the news casts. I thought it was funny. My guffaw almost put me in a ditch.
As I said, here's a piece of speculation that's way too juicy to pass up. Just as the American diplomats were urging Kim Il Sung's commie regime to scuttle that their nuclear weapons program, so were Russian diplomats. It took some doing but the Russians came up with a story that convinced lil Kim to begin seriously acceding to various demands for nuclear disarmament.
The Russian diplomats showed lil Kim, who by the bye is North Korea's President for Life, a blackboard that was covered with a mumbo jumbo gumbo of meaningless mathematical notation. There was no way in hell he could've made head or tail of it. Back in seventh grade, he flunked algebra. And the teacher who flunked him was shot for possibly exposing intellectual weakness to foreign interests. Oh, alright (!) already, I just made that up. Still, it fits in with those Russian diplomats are alleged to have told lil Kim.
All that the Russian diplomats allegedly told lil Kim allegedly boggled his allegedly ever loving pea-picking mind. The mathematical hosserei proved, so the Russians allegedly claimed, that the some unnamed American covert intelligence agency was responsible for Chernobyl.
hint hint - that Covert Intelligence Agency's initials are somewhere in the preceding sentence.
By way of refresher, Chernobyl was where a Soviet nuclear power plant went haywire. Somehow, so the story goes, American scientists are able to harness dark matter and dark energy. And that capacity enabled the American government to turn the power plant at Chernobyl into one huge "dirty" bomb. Being the dirty filthy capitalist hooligans they allegedly are, the Americans were allegedly eager to experiment.
To prime the mouse, so to speak, the Russians asked Kim whether there were strange lights in the sky above North Korea's nuclear facilities recently. Just so happens, the Russians are alleged to have told him, with straight faces, there were similar strange lights in the sky above Chernobyl, shortly before it went ka-blooey ... ya'know, there just might've been strange lights in the skies over North Korea. Maybe, that's why lil Kim is suddenly so amenable to foregoing nuclear weapons.
Well, as I said, this piece of speculation was simply way too juicy to pass up.
Truth be told, I can't wait to hear Secretary of State Condi try to dispel this rumor.
She might say something like so,
"Only a scifi schlemiel could come up with such a ridiculous crack-pot psychedelically wacko and whacked out story. What's more, only a seriously deranged social misfit would cover his buttocks with so many variations on 'allege'."
toodles
. . . . he who is known as sefton
I remember one scene, where Michael Rennie who portrays the alien J Carpenter is noodling with a hodgepodge of mathematical notation on a blackboard. Anyway, Mr Carpenter impresses a professor, who looks a bit like Einstein, with the noodling. The professor is impressed, and the audience is gripped with awe. I know I was.
Okay, I went through all that to set up the premise for why I'm now ruining my classified ad in PIPE DREAM, the student newspaper published twice weekly for Binghamton University, during regular semesters. Just so happens, I came upon a piece of speculation that's way too juicy to pass up. Oh, yeah, I'd affirm that I came upon this speculation in one of the most unholy websites I ever had the misfortune to come upon.
In truth, I'm too embarrassed to divulge its U R L. No way in hell do I want people to know that I voluntarily lingered in such a heinous website. How bad is it? Well, let's put it this way, I've scheduled a couple extra appointments with my therapist. No, I refuse to give any hint of that website's location. But as I said, this speculation is way too juicy to pass up..
According to our news media, North Korea's commie regime is agreeing to scuttle their nuclear weapons program. On the drive to this computer terminal, I was listening to radio's Stephanie Miller, who was mocking the news casts. I thought it was funny. My guffaw almost put me in a ditch.
As I said, here's a piece of speculation that's way too juicy to pass up. Just as the American diplomats were urging Kim Il Sung's commie regime to scuttle that their nuclear weapons program, so were Russian diplomats. It took some doing but the Russians came up with a story that convinced lil Kim to begin seriously acceding to various demands for nuclear disarmament.
The Russian diplomats showed lil Kim, who by the bye is North Korea's President for Life, a blackboard that was covered with a mumbo jumbo gumbo of meaningless mathematical notation. There was no way in hell he could've made head or tail of it. Back in seventh grade, he flunked algebra. And the teacher who flunked him was shot for possibly exposing intellectual weakness to foreign interests. Oh, alright (!) already, I just made that up. Still, it fits in with those Russian diplomats are alleged to have told lil Kim.
All that the Russian diplomats allegedly told lil Kim allegedly boggled his allegedly ever loving pea-picking mind. The mathematical hosserei proved, so the Russians allegedly claimed, that the some unnamed American covert intelligence agency was responsible for Chernobyl.
hint hint - that Covert Intelligence Agency's initials are somewhere in the preceding sentence.
By way of refresher, Chernobyl was where a Soviet nuclear power plant went haywire. Somehow, so the story goes, American scientists are able to harness dark matter and dark energy. And that capacity enabled the American government to turn the power plant at Chernobyl into one huge "dirty" bomb. Being the dirty filthy capitalist hooligans they allegedly are, the Americans were allegedly eager to experiment.
To prime the mouse, so to speak, the Russians asked Kim whether there were strange lights in the sky above North Korea's nuclear facilities recently. Just so happens, the Russians are alleged to have told him, with straight faces, there were similar strange lights in the sky above Chernobyl, shortly before it went ka-blooey ... ya'know, there just might've been strange lights in the skies over North Korea. Maybe, that's why lil Kim is suddenly so amenable to foregoing nuclear weapons.
Well, as I said, this piece of speculation was simply way too juicy to pass up.
Truth be told, I can't wait to hear Secretary of State Condi try to dispel this rumor.
She might say something like so,
"Only a scifi schlemiel could come up with such a ridiculous crack-pot psychedelically wacko and whacked out story. What's more, only a seriously deranged social misfit would cover his buttocks with so many variations on 'allege'."
toodles
. . . . he who is known as sefton
posted by he who is known as sefton | 9:57 AM
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