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Location: Susquehanna Depot, Pennsylvania, United States

Well, if you got here via the bi-chromatic Universe and "Dez", thanks. Their being available means they can be rented out, so to say, to vendors. For example, they'd be great in promoting pastries. Kids love cookies, so do adults. As for that ascending numeral three, it came about by way of ignorance. More than once, I'd see that same numeral with wings or a halo or both even on this or that pickup truck. And, dumb me, I'd think they were like golden horse shoes or four-leaf clovers ... good luck charms. It wasn't until later, I found out those threes are meant to commemorate one posthumously charismatic NASCAR driver. To inspire all those signs of grief, that guy might've had the makings for ... well, that's likely better left to the intuition of NASCAR votaries.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

CRYSTAL STAR - segment 04

In this segment, I'm publishing pages 31 through 40 in Scene 3, along with page 41 in Scene 4 of my one-act play CRYSTAL STAR. As readers encounter the following segments, they shall be reminded about how the text is being published. In the following segment, a few succeeding pages in the original are published. And in the segment after that, a few pages that succeed those are published.

Copyright (c) 1978 by Albert A.M. Stella

THIRD SCENE: page 31

*** (As the light intensifies on the woods, a twig snaps. Then a boy exclaims: "Hans, you are so clumsy". ***

***Following that, three boys come on stage, all in their teens and wearing light jackets. Hans, the big one with the good-natured face is carrying a pack on his back. The boy who called Hans clumsy is still speaking.)***
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * .* * * * * * * * * *
Heinriech: Doch, I cannot understand why you insist that we play this dumb game and sneak around through the weeds. This is silly.

Hans: ***(Taking off his back pack.) *** It is not silly, Heinriech. Maybe, someday we can hunt deer the way Americans do.

Heinriech: What is so great about how Americans hunt deer?

Hans: I read about how they can just buy a rifle and a license to hunt with it.

Heinriech: So what? As soon as you get to be eighteen, you can do the same here.

Hans: But here in Germany, it's different. Not only do we have to take a bunch of tests, we've got to hunt in a group under the supervision of a game warden. Germans have to drive the deer. Americans can stalk their deer alone.

Heinriech: ***(Some sarcasm.)*** You must think that anything that comes out of America is heaven's gift to mankind. Anyway, why should anything Americans do mean so much? Well, Fritz, what do you think?

Fritz: *** (Shrugs.) *** *** (He's the quiet one.) ***

Scene 3 - page 32

Heinriech: Hummph. Since you put it that way, maybe there is something to what Hans says.

Hans: ***(As if he should care.)*** I am overwhelmed.

Heinriech: You are overwhelmed. I am starved. How much sausage do you have?

Hans: ***(Indicates pack on ground_}*** Enough for all of us. ***(He's been through this before.)***

Heinriech: I hope so. Ach, where's Joachim? He's got the drinks.

Fritz: ***(Indicates with a turn of the head to off-stage.) ***

Heinriech: ***(Yelling.)*** Joachim, get your snail's butt over here, I need a drink.

Hans: You need a drink? ***(Of all the nerve.)*** Who carried the sausage?

Heinriech: Oh, you're a big strong boy. Are you sure there's enough sausage?

Hans: I am positive. ***(Said with some strain.)***

Heinriech: Well, the last time you were positive, and -

Hans: Look, mein junger Herr, it was my mother's sausage then and it is my mother's sausage now. And if you don't like it . . . ***(Let the audience fill in the blanks.)***

Heinriech: There gives no need for you to get ticked out.

Scene 3 - page 33

*****(While Heinriech is speaking, Joachim is on stage. Remember, this is Joachim as a boy, so a boy has to play this role. He's carrying a back pack.)*****

Joachim: What did you do to tick him out - - again? ***(Will it never end?)***

Heinriech: Hans is just sensitive like a fanatic about his mother's sausage.

Joachim: ***(Laying back pack gently on ground.)*** There gives no need for you to be as sensitive as all that about your mother's sausage, Hans. She's always made great dog food. ***(Said with a smile.)***

Heinriech and Fritz: ***(Chuckle and chortle.)***

Hans: Doch! That does it. ***(Grabs his pack off the ground.)*** I'm taking me and the sausage home.

Joachim: ***(puts_a_hand on Han's shoulder.)*** Come on, we're just teasing you a little. Come on, Kamerad, we'll drink some beer, sing some songs, talk a little and share some very good sausage.

Hans: Why should I stick around? You guys don't care about me! You just care about this sausage! ***(A little hurt.)***

Joachim: ***(Takes his hand back.)*** You know that is not true, We are all comrades here. Isn't that so, Heinriech? Fritz?

Heinriech: More than just comrades. ***(Smiles.)***

Fritz: ***(Smiles like-wise.)***

Hans: What do you mean? ***( You'd better have a good answer.)***

Scene 3 - page 34

*****(The boys sing the first song of the show: ***** HAZARD'S CHILDREN. Look in Appendix for lyrics and for who sings what lyrics.)*******************

*****(When the song ends, let the boys remain in their positions. They don't have to be stiff. A small spot-light starts shining on the man Joachim in the kitchen. There he makes this speech, which ends with spot-light's going out.)****************

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Joachim: So, there were the four of us. Just boys, yet we had our own civilization. In this civilization, Fritz, the quiet one who never spoke unless he was excited, acted as arbitrator. Hans, ah, the good-natured Hans, was the innocent guardian of our law.

Law, someone once said, emerges from quarrels over who owns certain bees' nests and other bits of property. Our law, strangely, came from the battles of wit I fought with Heinriech. Usually, he was a little too clever for his own good. He's gone now. Tears in his eyes, Heinriech died in my arms during the siege of Leningrad. As for Hans and Fritz, somehow the war swallowed them.

****(BACK TO THE WEEDS.)****

Heinriech: If I didn't know you, I would never believe anybody like you could exist.

Hans: I just want to have a car. That's all.

Joachim: Hans, I think what Heinriech means is why that kind of car.

Hans: I just think a De Soto Phaeton looks nice.

Scene 3 - page 35

Heinriech: To you, anything made in America looks nice. I think you are addicted to peanut butter.

Hans: I don't care spit about what you think, Heinriech. That De Soto has very nice wire wheels.

Joachim: What else does it have?

Hans: It also has a roof that can be put up or folded away. When it rains, I can drive and stay dry. When it's sunny, I can drive down the road with the wind in my nose.

Heinriech and Joachim and Fritz: ***(Shake their heads a little.)***

Heinriech: Just let me get behind the wheel of a BMW three-twenty-six. It's got a wicked two-litre engine.

Joachim: Heinriech, our road-racer hero.

Heinriech: You may bet the family jewels on that, Kamerad.

Joachim: You're dreaming! Who are you going to race?

Heinriech: Hans and his De Soto! My three-twenty-six will him and his car suck dust.

Fritz: ***(Chuckles a little.) ***

Heinriech: What's so funny? ***(Feels he's been challenged.)***

Joachim: I know what. Just a year ago, we all had to chip in to get a used motorcycle. And here we are, talking about "my car", "your car".

Heinriech: I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to have my own car.

Scene 3 - page 36

Joachim: Wahr? Well, I'm going to have my own car too. ***(Nobody's going to get one up on him.)***

Hans: What kind of car are you going to get? ***(In all innocence.)***

Joachim: I haven't decided yet. Maybe, an Adler Trump. What about you, Fritz?

Fritz: ***(Makes face, noise and motions like drivin a race car.)***

Heinriech: And you said I was dreaming. This guy thinks he's going to be the second Bernd Rosemeyer.

Joachim: Maybe, ***(Teasingly non-chalant.)*** next week the Auto Union will enter him in the Grand Prix.

Fritz: ***(Hands Joachim a look that says you-think-yer-so-smart.)***

Heinriech: Dream on, Kamerad, dream on.

Hans: I don't think it's all that bad a dream. Getting all those trophies, all that money, and getting invited to all those gigantic dinners. ***(Wouldn't it be delicious?)***

Joachim: The heck with those big dinners. You get girls by the box car load. And all you got to do is win the races.

Heinriech: Speaking about girls and winning. If we take next week's soccer match, I'll have something great coming my way.

Joachim: Heinriech, you are a dreamer. Don't you remember the last time we played them in soccer? They creamed us! ***(Was it bad.)***

Scene 3 - page 37

Heinriech: The score wasn't that bad.

Hans: Ja? Thirty-two to one!

Heinriech: How can you remember the score so well?

Joachim: We got our goal, when Fritz's kick ricocheted the ball into the net - - off Hans's face.

Heinriech: Oh, yeah. How I remember. That was funny. ***(Grinning like a fool.)***

Hans: I'm glad you think so. ***(Too bad, Fritz didn't kick your head.)***

Heinriech: But we still got to win!

Joachim: What for?

Heinriech: Because Elsa promised me she would - ***(Said more than he wanted.)***

Joachim: ELSA would do what? ***(Ho, Ho, HOO.)***

Fritz: ***(Brings two finger tips-to his lips and kisses them with three quick, loud smacks.)***

Joachim and Hans and Fritz: ***(Chuckle like fools.)***

Hans: ***(It's his turn to jab the needle in.)*** --------Maybe, Elsa will do for Heinriech what she's already doing for Joachim.

Joachim: What do you mean?

Hans: I saw you with her a couple times.

Joachim: So, I was walking her home from school.

Hans: Naturliech, you were - - ten o'clock at night.

Scene 3 - page 38

Heinriech: Joachim, you are a schweinhund! *"(Jealousy)***

Joachim: If I'm a schweinhund, so are Hans and Fritz.

Heinriech: What do you mean?

Joachim: Elsa is everybody's girl friend. Isn't that true, Fritz?

Fritz: ***(Nods in agreement.)***

Heinriech: ***(Incredulous.)*** Even you, Hans?

Hans: She just likes to have guys walk her home from school ten o'clock at night. *** (Apologetically.) ***

Heinriech: ***(Wounded.)*** The things your best friends won't tell you. ***(pause.)*** ***(Angrily.)*** Schweinhunde, all of you. After all the trouble I went through to get you daggers like the storm troopers have.

Joachim: Come on, you were bound to find out sooner or later. Anyway, look at it this way. It shouldn't be too hard for you to get what you really want from her.

Heinriech: What a Dulcinea she turned out to be! ***(Disgust.)***

Joachim: ***(Puzzlement.)*** Dulcinea? ***(Then traces a small circle with right finger tip near right temple.)***

Heinriech: ***(Challenge.)*** You want to make something of it? Let me settle your hash.

Scene 3 - page 39

Joachim: ***(Urbane.)*** Small need for that, mein junger Herr. We are going to have a good hike. I guarantee it.

Heinriech: What are you getting at? ***(Sceptical.)***

Joachim: You got us daggers like the ones the storm troopers have. ***(Squats down and starts rummaging in his back pack.) * * * - - I got us some good beer and - -
***(Extracting bottle for display.)*** Schnapps! ***(Triumph.)*** Hans, start getting the sausage ready.

Hans: Where did you get the Schnapps?

Joachim: I'll tell you that as soon as Heinriech tells us where he got the daggers and how he got the daggers.

Heinriech: ***(pacified.)*** I'd tell you guys that, but you know what a blabber-mouth Fritz is. Hey, Hans, why don't you tell us how you get your mother to make so much good sausage.

*****(Here the orchestra plays an intro.)*****

Hans: Jawohl, I go to my mother, and then I say - - *****(He sings MAMACHIEN, LIEBCHIEN.)***** *****(After the song is finished.)*****

Fritz: Oh, Hans.

Hans: Oh, Fritz.

SCENE FOUR: page 40

*****(As the light fades in the woods, the four boys sit down and remain quiet The light brightens in the kitchen)**************** - - -

Volumna: Boys, just boys. Cars, sports, and girls - - that's all boys ever talk about - - anywhere.

Rabbi: You will think of them that way, and you may even giggle at their fondness for sausage and beer.

Joachim: Old Jew fox, I have nine hundred West German marks. It shall be yours, when I am ***(Interrupted.)***

Rabbi: And here before us is one of them. After a few years, those boys grew into columns of tramping soldiers - - proud, courageous . . , heartless barbarians and beasts.

Joachim: Vermin!

Rabbi: Vermin you say. Do my own countrymen hunt me as if I should be exterminated?

Joachim: You have no countrymen - - you decrepit relic and fragment.

Rabbi: Doch! How blind you are!

Volumna: What do you mean, Rabbi Gottesmann?

Rabbi: This man is a veteran of a military machine that was torn into pieces and exists only in history books - - fragment and a relic.

Joachim: You say that in such a way - - the same way you would comfort frightened children with fairy tales of guardian angels that chase away the hobgoblins in the dark.

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