sweetest nookie

Wood'jah (?) buh-leave! The cultural significance of Lenny Bruce fueled the bitterest dispute I ever had with Avram. Elsewhere in this blog, I've written about the latter man.

These days, I whinge, whenever I recall the couple years I spent, trying to make it in stand-up comedy. I whinge even more, when I recall how I billed myself, "Lenny Bruce LITE" . . . oh, br'dah, what (?) was I thinking!

. . . the last time I got frisked by a cop, she was at least 5'10'' (I like'em tall), and just out of the police academy, and built for sin, I mean SERIOUS sin . . . lemme tell'ya, her face went beet red, when she--never mind!

It should be easy to infer that Avram regarded Lenny as an abomination.

As for me, I still chuckle, when I read Lenny's "'to' is a preposition" riff. That's how much of an innovator he was. I think that particular routine got him hauled up before the judge on charges of "public obscenity". Today, of course, shtick like that is rube roast on The COMEDY CENTRAL cable channel.

Compared to how Islam, in Avram's opinion, spent centuries vandalizing the holy writ of older religions, Lenny figured as only a minor abomination. The way Avram described the process. It began with how the Qu'ran's version of Christ's birth differs markedly from that in the Christian New Testament.

Later on, Muslim scholars would claim they had rebutted the Old Testament account of Abraham's obedience to the Almighty. Instead of Isaac, so those scholars claimed, Abraham had, by the Almighty, been commanded to sacrifice Ishmael, his other and older son. Incidentally, according to the Old Testament, as written in the original Hebrew, Ishmael went on to be the patriarch of the Arabs.

. . . ya'know, one might think that this Muslim attempt to somehow elevate Ishmael above Isaac would've infuriated Avram . . . aaay, now that I think about it . . . I do recall how vehemently he expressed his displeasure . . . oh, yeah, I think I'm recalling the occasion, when we got our hands on six-packs of IRON CITY. Any other time, Avram would let it pass with a dismissive snort.

Somewhere along the way, Avram might've immersed himself in Jungian psychology. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't be surprised, if he had actually helped Jung formulate the theory of "racial memory".

. . . oh, yeah, you, the person who's reading this post on the monitor, look about ever so discreetly, it's advisable that you let what's on the monitor stay on the monitor . . .

Anyway, Avram imparted to me in the strictest confidence that he was absolutely positive that Muslims, especially Arab Muslims, are "sensitive" about the status of Hagar, who was Ishmael's mother and Abraham's concubine . . . aaay, you, whyz.ache.err, gimme some credit for diplomacy here, will'ya (?) puh-lease!

Perhaps, it's that sensitivity that impelled the vandalization in question.

. . . oh, br'dah, it's a good bet that, were Lenny around today . . . AND IN HIS PRIME . . . he'd have a field day . . .

. . . darn, darn, if only there were somebody, who could channel Lenny. In that case, we could be treated to something like so:

" . . . ba'da'bing . . . over the years, those Muslims have been trying to spruce up their branch of OUR . . . I can say "our" because I'm a nice jewish boy . . . our family tree by monkeying with the holy writ of older religions . . .

". . . aaay, c'mon, Muslims, knock it off . . . you have no business monkeying around with the Talmud . . . ah, the Old Testament, nor even the New Testament, for that matter . . .

" . . . lemme tell'ya, it's downright embarrassing . . . it's like wetbacks trying to pass themselves off as relations of Candace Bergen because her connection with some ship that brought over the Pilgrims . . . well, I for one enjoyed her television portrayal of the MAYFLOWER madam . . . aaay, you Muslims, yer like making a joke of your own religion . . .

" . . . if ya'wanna monkey around like that, do so with your own holy writ . . . how'z'bout (?) sticking something like this in your Qu'ran . . .

"'Even though Abraham had tossed Hagar out of his tent, he kept in touch.
*
Whenever Abraham found himself toting serious wood, he'd consort with Hagar, who was the sweetest nookie he had ever scompt.'"

In the movie ARROW, "Toriano" as played by Jack Palance incites an uprising by tribe of Apache native Americans. The antagonist to that character is played by Charlton Heston.

Evidently afflicted by Asperberger's Syndrome, Heston's character has, with one exception, failed miserably to win over either Apache or white as a friend. Heston's character has an interesting background, having been raised by the Apaches in question. Upon his reaching adulthood, he and the tribe parted ways.

What I like about the guy is the cool manner in which he "owns" his background. "While you were learning your ciphers, I was learning how to slit a man's throat so it would take him twenty-four hours to die."

ARROW has the aspect of a detective story, in that it's up to Heston's character to discover how Toriano could motivate the tribe to go on the warpath. Suddenly, it comes to him. "It was never talked about. It was painted on a rock. It was chanted in a chant."

Heston's character is referring to the legend of the "invincible one", who would lead his people to victory, ever lasting.

LYE'KAH BOLT AH'DA'DAH BLUE

Avram would allude to an event that I was given to infer could be described as a "second crucifixion". In time, so Avram avouched, American Christians would, ah, maybe way in the back, worship alongside Jews at the Western Wall. Those Americans would be there to pray at the site, where was forged that profoundly mystical bond between Israel and their country.

. . . I wonder does (?) does the forging of such a bond require a human sacrifice . . .

Whenever I would hear Avram spout off like that, I'd figure the COORS had induced a short circuit, or two, in his brain. One time, sensing a chance to get him to say something completely "off the wall", I asked him just what (?) the hell was he talking about. He did not disappoint me.

From what I can recall, I could swear he was talking like some sort of native American shaman . . . something about "places of spirit".

For my part, I remember reading passages in that piece of bald-faced propaganda by Leon Uris. Maybe, in an attempt to salvage what remained of that "once-in-a-millennium" opportunity, the monarch of Jordan met with emissaries of the Israeli government. The conflict between Arab and Jew could, so the monarch proposed, be resolved by the Israelis' agreeing to subordinate themselves under his protection.

Speaking for the Israeli government, Golda Meir rejected the proposal. Not too long after that, the monarch met up with Allah on the Temple Mount, through assassination by some fervid Palestinian partisan.

. . . oh, yeah, I gotta admit. This later profoundly mystical bond fits more easily within Avram's category of thought than mine. Maybe, I'm stubborn, mule-headed even. I remain adamantly adiaphoristic. I still say, "It's a matter for psychology".

toodles

As a service for two groups people, who've gotten tnis far, here are two tips. One, to make the below graphic larger for better legibility, one needs only click on it.

Second, people , who'd like to read a bit more about Lenny Bruce, shall be direced presently to a hyperlink. Before clicking on "more about Lenny", they should be alerted that the post is headed by a rather startling graphic. Please be assured it's there for good purpopse. And now here's the promised hyperlink: more about Lenny.









With regard to the above graphic, it's meant to serve a couple purposes. For one thing, I hope it'll draw casual curious visitors to the text just above. Second, I'd like to stake my claim to a scoop . . . oh, by the bye, I've made sure to give myself plenty of weasel wiggle, so as to gainsay the claim, in the event my harebrained conjecture is proven totally and absolutely and ridiculously mistaken . . . onto the scoop.

I'm willing to wager my five doughnuts to somebody's three felafels that the Iranian nuclear agency is in deep shit. Their special weapons facility at Natanz (Kashan) is in imminent danger of replicating a Chernobyl disaster.

. . . oh, br'dah, talk about silly irony . . . The Iranian ayatollahs had that place built to provide themselves with weapons to polish off some pesky state about three countries over. Never did they dream that their Allah-ordained facility could turn out to be a dagger aimed at the heart of their regime.

. . . gets me . . . the person, who got me thinking about, for a thinking person, such a funny situation was Randi Rhodes, leftie talk-radio loon. According to her, all the stuff that anybody bought ever so clandestinely from some Pakistani grifter for the production of atomic weaponry was, and I'm quoting her, "crap".