want (?) your customers to love you! adopt Universe and "Dez"

Let's start
with a
romantic take
on why
Universe
wears those
rosy sunglasses. Turns out, I was told that she wants to see the
world through the lenses of love.

Anyway, it all started with the movie FOXES, in which Jodie Foster appeared as a member of a pack of teeny-boppers. Back then, Jodie had yet to start the transition from kitten to cat. In one scene, Jodie and her packmates are washing plastic dolls as, I guess, part of a high school class in infant care. The camera and the dialogue make it very clear that these young ladies feel they have other and much better things to do.

Here's what I was hearing in the back of my mind, something like so: "When they have babies of their own, care (?) to guess what they'll fall back on."

I spend very little time, if any, with social workers. But according to some reports, some of them struggle mightily to hold back tears, as they speak about the sorry state of child care skills that is found in so many households ... "9 1 1 NANNY", anyone?

Well, I decided it would be a good idea to somehow popularize the notion that parenting skills can be learned. Myself, I would recommend that the learning should start a couple years before puberty. The idea was that Universe and "Dez" would appear in two-minute segments of animation that would be broadcast, as part of local television programming for children.

Take my word for it. More than once, I tried battering through brick walls to realize my idea. And all I got for my efforts was a bloody scalp.

And then, it happened!

I got smart.

Those two bi-chromatic kids would make for great advertising. It wouldn't be all that difficult to use them to sell cookies, and other stuff that would be appropriate to children's interests and activities. As for other stuff, I was thinking ice cream, bowling, college savings plans, and even home entertainment systems ... aaaay, you, whyz.ache.err, why (?) not female radio personalities!

Some people, wise to the advertising game, might wonder whether it would be possible for cartoon characters to sell something as abstract as college savings plans. Here's the thing about parents of small children. Mommy and Daddy yield all too easily to the temptation to talk about their little darlings.

Just as an aside, do beginning parents ever (?) realize just how annoying is their putting their giggly toddlers on the phone! Well, lemme clue ya, the callers at the other end think the darndest things.


Back to Mommy and Daddy, what's more, the temptation to mention what they're doing for their little darlings is virtually irresistible

ya'known, who'da'tunk (?) dat yellow Peanuts bird could sell home owner's insurance.

By the bye, I haven't given up on the idea that Universe and "Dez" will eventually be used to introduce children to the idea that parenting skills can be learned. In the meanwhile, they're available for advertising various types of products. Interested vendors are encouraged to contact the "legal guardian", me A Alexander Stella. I can be reached at this e-mail address:

stella4ron@yahoo.com

or bylandline at

....... (570)853-3050.

Some readers may recognize the graphic as one that appears on refrigerator magnets. To get the word about my blog, I resorted to passing those magnets out to all sorts of people. For those of you interested in statistics, here's what I'm conjecturing happened to, say, 400 (four hundred) such magnets. By the bye, I passed out more than that ... but let's keep the math simple.

I'm guessing that half of the 400 was tossed aside. In monetary terms, $600 (six hundred dollars) went down the drain. Now let's focus on the remaining 200 (two hundred) -- at this point, somebody wise to the mechanics of advertising may well be yelling,

"Hold on there. Just how do you know that ONLY (?) two hundred (200) of your cockamamie refrigerator magnets got tossed aside."

ya'know, that's a good question. Well, let's put it this way. At first, please permit my regaling the dear Reader with a literary allusion, say, "practicality, my dear Watson, practicality". And I'm backing that up with a wager of my five doughnuts to somebody's three that 200 were not tossed aside for a very good reason.

Just so happens, women use such magnets to stick notes on their refrigerator door to remind her beloved that Thursday is garbage day ... so, it would be only nice to take same out to the curb, before leaving for work. Now, let's continue.

Likely enough, half (100) of those remaining 200 ended up in households that neither have immediate Internet access in the home nor care all that much about the Internet. Remember, my blog "he who is known as sefton" has to be reached through the Internet. In monetary terms, $300 went down the drain.

Now, let's focus on the 100 that ended up on refrigerators in households, whose members do have immediate access to the Internet, or do indeed spend considerable time in exploring the Internet. One would think that my money, some $300, finally paid off.

Think again, my little chick-a-dees, members in half of those households, some 50, pass up visiting my blog. Okay, that's $150 dollars down the drain.

gee, mis'tah, ya'should'ah spent only $150 (one hundred and fifty bucks) on only 50 of dose fridge doo-hickeys, an' given dem out to only dose last 50 households.

gee ... now you tell me.

Well, the upshot of it is simply this. That was what I had to do to get people visiting my blog. The way I'm hoping things work out is fairly simple. People, who visit my blog, will get the word out to others. By the bye, by clicking on that "envelope" icon, one brings up a page that encourages e-mailing the hyperlink to the article along with a personal message. It works! I know. I tried it.

Somewhere in this blog, there's a counter that indicates just how successful I am in attracting numerous visitors to my blog. Here, I should interject that I'm no longer passing out, higgly piggly, those fridge magnets to just about anybody. That phase is over and done with. Nowadays, only prospective product-promotion clients are getting them gratis.

And, as for that counter, it's found just underneath the article, which is just underneath this post. Wood'jah (?:) buh-leave! That latter post contains a segment of my one-act play with music, CRYSTAL STAR. Incidentally, this segment is the first of eleven.

As for why I keep publishing articles on this blog. Well, I figure people would appreciate having more reason to visit this blog than only viewing a pretty graphic.

toodles
....... he who is known as sefton