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Location: Susquehanna Depot, Pennsylvania, United States

Well, if you got here via the bi-chromatic Universe and "Dez", thanks. Their being available means they can be rented out, so to say, to vendors. For example, they'd be great in promoting pastries. Kids love cookies, so do adults. As for that ascending numeral three, it came about by way of ignorance. More than once, I'd see that same numeral with wings or a halo or both even on this or that pickup truck. And, dumb me, I'd think they were like golden horse shoes or four-leaf clovers ... good luck charms. It wasn't until later, I found out those threes are meant to commemorate one posthumously charismatic NASCAR driver. To inspire all those signs of grief, that guy might've had the makings for ... well, that's likely better left to the intuition of NASCAR votaries.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Osama and our president "dum'ass botch"

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - The U.S. journalist Jill Carroll, weeping and veiled ...

The above squib was lifted from a news piece in a website I occasionally visit for a free chance in a raffle. With the exception of those brain-dead or those, who've just returned from the moon after a two-month stint spelunking in a communications blackout, none may plead ignorance about her plight.

With regard to the overarching situation, none may resort to ignorance for excusing either her captors or their ultimate and ( charitably granted) unwittingly so ==> accomplice.

Here's a "dum'ass botch" joke I'm serving up for the visitor's entertainment.

Question: how do you know when President Bush is lying?

Answer: his LIPS are moving.

The captive reporter in Iraq is connected, in the maelstrom of history, with the current president of the United States.

And that office holder is in turn connected, again in the maelstrom of history, with the "bedbugs", who diminished the cityscape of New York.

Here's another squib, lifted from that website:

Al-Zawahri Mocks Bush Over Terrorism War

Funny thing, as I watching the newscast that featured some camel jockey with a white towel wrapped around his head, I chuckled. That bedbug looked like a card-carrying member of the Screen Extras Guild in period custome. Eventually, that impression led to my recalling a poster for a movie starring Paul Newman ...


ah, the all caps text is that movie's best known line ...

According to the relevant news presenters, the bedbug was ridiculing dum'ass botch as a failure.

Well, here's the punchline:


+ the graphic on
+ the other side
+ of the vertical line
+ of plus signs shows
+ a clipping of a
+ political ad that
+ appeared in
+ the "only 'real'
+ newspaper for
+ Susquehanna
+ County ...
+ oh, well, I guess I'm
+ fated to live and die
+ as the human
+ counterpart for
+ MARVEL (r) comix
+ ... ta-da ...

+ oh, well, it must be that, nine out of ten times, transfigurations of human possibility are spearheaded by such riff raff as Picasso, Cortez, Galileo, Villon, Isaiah, Croce, Bahnhoffer et cetera ... by now, my numerous devoted fans are well aware of my most illustrious virtue, specifically
==> my awe-inspiring humility.

The following text appeared previous to the insertion of the above graphic and text appertaining thereto.

When it comes to talk radio personality, Randi Rhodes, there's no middle ground. Either she yammers raucously about alleged right-wing disrepute, or she wittily informs her listeners about pernicious political quackery. Whatever the case, I try to listen to her as I'm cruising along I-81 towards Binghamton in upstate New York. The Citadel outlet there has her broadcasting over WYOS.

Sometime after three in the afternoon, Thursday, the 19th of January, 2006, I heard Randi claim she had been informed about the latest and by-now notorious Osama bin Ladin audiotape before our President did. Her evidence for that comes from the speech the President delivered, shortly after she had gotten the news about that audio tape. Not once during that entire speech, did our President George Walker Bush mention that audiotape.

Truth be told, I most certainly allow that she has a point. But then, I'll have to allow that it might be easy to accuse me of bias. My ambition to bring about the impeachment of President "dum'ass botch" certainly inclines me towards the negative in my view of the man.

At this point, I hope those reading this article could concede that I feel an obligation to my numerous devoted fans. And so, I'm about to adduce some evidence for my most illustrious virtue, specifically, my awe-inspiring humility. By this evidence, I'm sure I'll rise far above the reach of any accusation of bias. In this instance, I'll delve into the notion that both Osama and our president have, at one time or other, both vouchsafed.

Both claim that the situation in Iraq, sometimes referred to humorously as "Mess O'Potamia, is a "magnet for jihadis". The last is a quote that can be directly attributed to both men. Here's the thing about both men. In my considered opinion, both are emotionally purblind.

My clues for this comes from a couple sources. One of which is rather recent American history. According to our historians, the "Roaring 20s" of the last century was inspired, in large part, by the disenchantment of troops, returning from their stint in the First World War. Vaguely, I can recall a story about one very noteworthy poet, becoming disabused of jingoism as he saw for himself the venality of those in charge of his nation's military ... something about "pilgrims" of some sort.

No, I do not speak of Arabic. No, I do not have friends, who do. What's more, I do not have friends, who are Muslim. In fact, my type of guy does not have friends ... admirers, maybe. And yet, I can tell you what will the disposition of those jihadis, who survive their combat stint for Islam in Iraq. Are they ever going to be disenchanted!

The list of their complaints will be long and, for their coreligionists back home, both disheartening and enlightening. Here are a few samples:

"We had more to fear from Iraqi Muslims than American infidels."

"The Iraqis thought they were doing us a favor by letting us blow ourselves up, and kill other Iraqis."

"The Iraqis called us 'infidels', if we refused to wear suicide vests."

"We came to fight American Marines, and if need be, die as martyrs for the sake of Islam. Instead, we were expected to slaughter innocent Muslims."

By the way, this is in addition to the complaints. There's a story that purports to be going around about what could happen to jihadis, who get captured by Kurdish militia. Those jihadis get sold to the American military for a hundred bucks, or so, a head.

Here's what's alleged to have happened to one bunch of just such jihadis. During any war, from time to time, somebody who shouldn't bungle does ... snafu ... gastro-intestinal eliminate chancefires. During one week, the American military did not have the money to buy the captured jihadis. What's more, so far as American military intelligence could tell, the captured jihadis had absolutely nothing to tell that was of any military value. And the average American gee'eye could hardly be expected to donate any of their combat pay for such a purchase.

The upshot being, the Kurds thought that the American program of buying the formers' captured jihadis had come to an end. Shortly thereafter, the captured jihadis died, while "trying to escape". Funny thing, each corpse had a bullet in the back of its head.

The Kurds are supposed to be like the Russians, "friendship is friendship, and business is business".

Well, before I lay out my plan for flushing Osama bin Ladin out his hiding place, somewhere in Central Asia, I'm going to mention my suspicion about what our President "dum'ass botch" thinks about himself.

During one teevee appearance during his first campaign for the presidency, he professed his devotion to his Christian faith. He claimed he had Jesus in his heart. Well, from "Jesus in my heart", it's not that big a leap to believing one is the Saviour. In one of my other articles in this bog, I have lots of fun with that notion.

Okay, now onto serious business.

My idea comes from the 1957 movie SOMETHING OF VALUE, in which Rock Hudson played a supporting role, with the major role given over to Sidney Poitier. In the movie, white settlers in the African country of Kenya before its independence, are being beset by Mau Mau "uprising". Nowadays, politically correct is "insurgency".

One of the Mau Mau leaders, with the title of "Oath Giver", gets captured by the white man's military. He's an elderly man, and the actor, Juan Hernandez who portrays him, gives a marvelous performance. A reasonable person can comprehend why the oath giver was a person, entitled to humongous respect from both white settlers and Kenyan common folk.

During a crackling thunder storm, one of the white authorities considers aloud what the oath giver must believe. Thunder is the voice of God, so the oath giver believes. Lightning is God's spear, so the oath giver believes.

White authorities escort the oath giver to a fire that is somehow raging in the downpour. For the oath giver, that's comparable to the biblical burning bush. Then the oath giver is given a toroidal stone, shaped like a doughnut, that he believes he must honor by telling the truth.

Funny thing about the oath giver, he never took the oath himself. Had he done so, so he believes, he would've banished himself from God's presence forever. And that is why he never gave the oath to his daughter.

One of the white men, questioning the oath giver, the latter's name being Njogu, reminds him of those, to whom the oath been given. By giving them the oath, Njogu became responsible for their being forever banished from God. As the oath giver feels the weight of his remorse, the white inquisitor compels him to peer into a future those oaths are creating. Kenya will be a house, wherein dwell those, forever banished from the presence of the Lord.

Okay, my dear why.ache.err, ya'gotta admit that's pretty heavy stuff.

Okay, here's my idea. Whatever the language being spoken wherever Osama is being cached, SOMETHING OF VALUE is to be dubbed in that language. And then, that movie is to be shown to the warlords, who rule over that Central Asian region.

aaaay, c'mon, for a change, let's rely on one of the few activities, in which Americans do better than any other nationality, music and pizza delivery included in that few.

Besides, it's a pretty bet that our spooks have tried everything else. Oh, well, maybe good ol'Winnie Churchill said it best, "Trust the Americans to do the right thing, after they've tried everything else".

No, I'm no expert in Islam. But I'm told that Muslims are expected to respect the honest and deep-seated beliefs of honorable non-Muslims. And so, those warlords would be expected to respect the deep-seated beliefs of Njogu, the oath giver. In the end, he proves himself through his remorse to be an honorable man.

After they've seen the movie, the warlords will be reminded that, like the oath giver, they are responsible for the welfare of those, over whom they rule. Again, I'm no expert in Islam. But I'm sure their Faith disapproves of those, who are careless in their governance.

Just as Njogu is expected to care for the future of his fellow Kenyans, so are the warlords expected to care for the future of their subjects.

What follows could be considered a dilettante's attempt at prosody:

Forty years ago, the future was tapping on your door.

Thirty years ago, the future was rapping on your door.

Twenty years ago, the future was knocking on your door.

Ten years ago, the future was banging on your door.

Today, the future is kicking your door in.

Maybe, you love Osama for his devotion to Islam. Maybe, your customs obligate you to shelter him from the wrath of infidels. But consider this. The man belongs far more in the past than in the future. The hard truth be told, though he lives in the present, he's a relic from out of the past. Is (?) not your Faith, a Faith with a future.

Surely, it is a wise man, who prepares for the future. According to the dictates of your own Faith, you are expected to care for the future of those, over whom you rule. Surely, you feel obligated to ensure their future will be one, in which you would rightfully take pride in helping shaped.

To that end, it behooves you to surrender Osama.

.he who is known as sefton

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Blogger Brenda said...

Ok,I bit and went to your site. And "He Who Is Known As Sefton" realy needs to meet "He Who Is Known As Editor." The English language hasn't seen such misuse since the last time that Little bush opened his misrable yap.

4:19 AM  
Blogger he who is known as sefton said...

aaay, I'm just pleased somebody actually visited, and left a note that mentions the text ...

anyway, Brenda, if you're reading this, please lemme know about recent insertions ...

.he who is known as sefton

5:01 PM  
Blogger crias said...

please don't spam my comments anymore

3:02 PM  
Blogger Shelby said...

I've got to agree with Brenda. I don't know upon what planet you attempted to learn English, but it was a disastrous effort.

What on earth inspired you to concoct "dum'ass botch" as a label? You note the missing "b" with an apostrophe, but the missing "i" gets no such credit.

Stop addressing the Dear Reader. We're not that close.

You keep putting, commas in totally unnecessary places.

Is "aaaay, you, whyz.ache.err" like a cross between Cockney and Ebonics?

Honestly, "toodles?"

I almost hesitate to post a comment here, for fear of giving you the delusional impression that your overzealous publicity campaign of harvesting emails and trolling people's blogs for the sole purpose of self-promotion is at all successful. Lest you get the wrong impression, let me assure you I won't be back, not even for purely grammatical entertainment purposes. Now quit spamming the rest of us in your desperate quest for popularity, and demand Binghamton give you your money back, because they've clearly failed you.

10:43 PM  
Blogger he who is known as sefton said...

well, if Binghamton failed me, I should like to know how.

well, if I'm delusional, I'm delusional ... so, what (?)can'ya expect from such a hair pin as I!

as for spamming, lemme tell'ya straight, I ain't one big repentant, nor even apologetic.

my motivation comes from my watching "dum'ass botch" joke being wounded, because he had sustained something like a paper cut. And he made the joke, after allegedly visiting service personnel, who had earned a purple heart through serving in Iraq.

Lemme tell'ya sum'thin.

When I witnessed it, I was humiliated to the point of tears.

Get this and get this straight, you cold-hearted prig, it is ill-advised to humilitate me.

.he who is known as sefton

4:37 PM  

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